The foolish consistency of my little mind

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Five and a half years ago I started writing this blog. I soon settled into a pattern of writing monthly, usually in the last few hours of the last day of the month. With each new entry I clung--and to this day still cling--to the hope that something changes. To wit, that the writing would propel me to achieve my original aim of reaching out to others, of connection. But connection, to paraphrase Georgia O'Keefe, "takes time, like to really see a flower takes time", and clearly I was and still am spending my time elsewhere. I live a fairly consistent life. What then are the foolish consistencies which not only occupy, but continually create, my mind?

In other words, what on earth am I doing? And not just with my physical energy, but with my mental energy, since both literally create who I am?

I shall return to this question next month. As usual it is late and I am tired. Who was it that said, the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? For now it is enough that I am and have spent the vast majority of my time and energy being a father, a husband, a doctor.